Dear Kind, Curious, and Talented Humans,
I'm turning 61 on Monday April 6th. And if you'd told 24-year-old Jim that he'd be celebrating this birthday with a replaced hip, celebrating his recent marriage, navigating an uncertain world, and genuinely excited about rebuilding relationships he'd let drift for decades - he wouldn't have understood any of it.
That's exactly the point.
A year ago, I shared something on LinkedIn that resonated with more people than I expected. It was about getting off the treadmill of external validation, about choosing joy over impressive, about finally understanding that I am enough. As another birthday approaches, I realize it wasn't just a message I needed to share once - it's a practice I'm still living into.
So here it is again, because wisdom worth having is wisdom worth revisiting:
There's a reason I don't work in Corporate America anymore. I was chasing the bigger job and the bigger payday at the expense of my own happiness. I was fundamentally selling pieces of my soul to keep up the facade of success and it was eating away at me.
I want you to understand, however, that this is a very important learning. This is a piece of wisdom 57-year-old Jim would love to share with 24-year-old Jim (or anyone else starting out their career):
Do these things, buy these things, travel around the world because you WANT to, not because you NEED to or you think it makes your life more interesting to others. Make yourself an interesting life and find joy and satisfaction in small pleasures. You cannot fill voids, insecurities, and gaps in your happiness with stuff.
You must address your core happiness and desires first and learn how to practice gratitude and appreciation for what you have.
You are enough. You are worthy. You are amazing. You bring Joy to many people in your life. Take. A. Breath. Stop and Smell the roses. Life is too damn short to be constantly searching for your next hit of external validation. Get off that treadmill. And keep smiling!
Now, back to my 2026 update and thoughts:
What I've Learned About Control (And Letting Go)
Here's what this past year has taught me about aging with grace and learning and wisdom:
In February, I had hip replacement surgery. Your body has a way of reminding you what control actually means. I couldn't control the fact that years of wear had ground away cartilage. I couldn't control the recovery timeline. I couldn't control how vulnerable I felt asking for help. But I could control how I showed up to physical therapy. I could control whether I let frustration consume me or whether I chose gratitude for modern medicine and a body that was healing. I could control my reaction.
Last September, I married an incredible human being. Just typing that sentence makes me shake my head in wonder! It took me until my middle 50s to finally understand what a healthy relationship and true conditional love and acceptance look and feel like with the right partner. Again, I had to let go to grow.
My family continues to deal with my Mom’s aging and slow descent away from us. My sister is the primary caregiver now and I marvel at her capacity for care and patience. I struggle with my role, my reactions, and my own mortality, but I realize I have to be there for Mom and for Jill more than I have been. Control my reactions, not the situation.
And at 60 years old, I stood on a TEDx stage and talked about asking for answers instead of pretending to have them all. I chose vulnerability over performance. I chose truth over polish. I chose to share my learning rather than perform my expertise. That was a choice. That was control I actually had.
What I'm Actively Unlearning
The biggest thing I'm unlearning as I approach 61?
That I'm truly not in control of everything. I only control my reactions.
This sounds simple. It's not.
It means accepting that my mom's story will end the way it ends, and my job is to be present for it, not fix it. It means accepting that my body is aging, and my job is to care for it with respect, not rage against it. It means accepting that I can't control whether people embrace radical kindness, but I can control whether I practice it.
Corporate Jim thought control meant having the right title, the right strategy, the right answer. Sixty-one-year-old and Soloprenuer Jim is learning that control means choosing where you spend your energy, how you show up, and who you show up for.
Aging With Grace Isn't What I Thought It Was
For years, I thought aging gracefully meant accepting less.
Slowing down. Making peace with limitation.
I was completely wrong.
Aging with grace means staying vital. It means being a lifelong learner - which is why I'm writing a second book, building The League of Radical Kindness, and still asking for answers instead of resting on old ones. It means staying constantly curious - about people, about ideas, about what's possible.
Most importantly, it means spending energy where I want to, not where I think I should.
The Question I'm Still Asking
So as I head toward another birthday, I'm asking myself the same question I'm asking you:
What treadmill are you still on? And what would it take for you to step off?
What are you chasing because you think you should? What are you performing instead of living? What control are you clinging to that you never actually had?
And more importantly: What joy are you missing while you're busy being impressive?
Getting off the treadmill isn't a one-time decision - it's a daily practice. Some days I get it right. Some days I slip back into old patterns. But at 61, I'm clear about this: joy is better than impressive.
Community is better than credentials.
Being enough is better than being more.
You are enough. You are worthy. You are amazing.
Take. A. Breath.
Stop and smell the roses.
Life is too damn short.
Love, Jim
