Greetings, Kind Human and Friend:

This is my last newsletter prior to my wedding in 3 days and I am filled with the entire bundle of appropriate emotions. I am so excited to write this next chapter with Joe, and celebrate with our families and friends in Northern Michigan. While world events and the continuing challenges of the Trump Administration still weigh heavily on my mind, I am choosing this week and time period to focus on the POSITIVES.

I am living in a space of Gratitude, Joy, and Appreciation for where I am in my life. I am confident that I am exactly where I am meant to be and doing what I am meant to be doing.

It has taken me over 50 years to fully understand myself and to live my full and authentic life. I appreciate everyone that has supported me, challenged me, and coached me on this journey. I could not have done this alone.

As always, thank you for caring and joining the journey.

In Community and Convesation,

Jim

If you enjoy this newsletter and my articles, please share this with your friends and your community. The subscribe button is below.

My personal and professional philosophy is Ask for An Answer.

I grew up thinking survival meant always knowing, always performing. I carried that armor through health issues, divorce, and the C-suite. 

But here’s what I learned: answers might get you through today, but asking is what changes tomorrow.

Ask for An Answer flips the script. Instead of building dependence, you build capability. Instead of hiding behind performance, you build trust. Instead of fear, you lead with curiosity and radical kindness.

For individuals, it’s permission to stop proving yourself and start inviting others in. It’s a way to build resilience without hardening—and to finally live and lead without the weight of the armor.

Where did this come from??

As a kid, I thought survival meant having the answers. Growing up as an ACOA, surrounded by the silence of family secrets, I learned to stay safe by being quick, capable, and “on.” At the same time, I was being bullied for who I was—before I even had the words to name it. Being gay in a world that didn’t want me visible, I carried the quiet belief that I had to prove myself over and over again just to earn space.

So I performed. I built double lives and false narratives. I chased validation like oxygen. If I could be smart enough, strong enough, fast enough—maybe I’d be safe. Maybe I’d be worthy.

That pattern followed me into adulthood. Through a cancer diagnosis. Through divorce. Through boardrooms and C-suites. I showed up as the one who could fix it, solve it, know it all. And it worked, for a while. In leadership, being the hub—the dependable one—made me valuable. But here’s the truth I had to face: the armor of always having answers was also my cage. By rushing to solve, I stopped listening. By centering my worth on being “the one who knew,” I cut myself off from the wisdom and resilience of others.

Eventually life, and leading teams of humans, forced me to learn: you can’t answer your way out of everything. Not in your personal life. Not in business. And certainly not in this chaotic world under the Trump Administration, where control is an illusion and distraction is policy. We can’t control every situation. What we can control are our reactions, our emotions, our choices. That’s the real work: mastering the ego, not the situation.

And that realization shaped the philosophy I hold today:

Ask for An Answer.

It sounds simple. It’s anything but.

When you ask for an answer, you stop performing certainty and embrace the strength of curiosity.

When you ask, you resist victimhood; not by denying pain, but by choosing how you respond to it.

When you ask, you create trust, because you show people that their voice, their brilliance, their experience matter.

The leader who always has the answer builds dependence.
The leader who asks for an answer builds capability, community, and possibility.

For me, this is the culmination of my journey to self-acceptance as a gay man. It’s choosing not to lead from fear or armor, but from authenticity and radical kindness—my true superpowers. It’s refusing to dim my light just to survive, and instead amplifying others so we all thrive.

And now, I want to help others practice this. Because I know how exhausting it is to live behind the armor. And I know the freedom of setting it down.

I am thrilled to celebrate Dr. JonPaul here in the newsletter and as my October Leading with Pride Book club selection. His book, Black.Fat.Femme, is so wonderful Follow the link to subscribe to the book club and please enjoy this introduction to a fellow Wiley author and a new inspirational friend in my life.

Dr. Jonathan P. Higgins (DoctorJonPaul) is an award winning educator, professor, national speaker, freelance journalist, thought leader and media critic who examines the intersections of identity, gender and race in entertainment. Named National Black Justice Coalition’s Inaugural Emerging Leaders to Watch and Business Equality Magazine’s “Top 40 LGBTQ People Under 40”, their work has been featured on sites like Essence, Ebony, Complex, MTV NEWS, Out Magazine, BET, Paper Mag and Entertainment Weekly. 

Dr. Higgins is the inaugural Director of Strategic Communications and Advocacy programs for RPYA (Rainbow Pride Youth Alliance) and has held positions at both Chernin Entertainment & Edith Productions. They are often sought out for inclusion projects centered on uplifting marginalized voices in media, working with brands including United Artists, Amazon, and other top media leaders like Fox, the NFL, Apple, Disney, Instagram, Buzzfeed, GLAAD and most recently, ULTA Beauty. 

They have also been a featured speaker for TEDx, SXSW and Coachella and can be seen on shows like “Nailed It” on Netflix, “Like a Girl” on Fuse and “Our America: Who I Am Meant to Be” - both on ABC and Hulu.

They are the creator, executive producer and host of the Webby honored and Shorty Award winning “Black Fat Femme” podcast which was developed via IHeartMedia’s Next Up Initiative in 2021. The podcast has gone on to be named one of the “top Black podcasts to listen to” by Essence, Ebony and Pride magazine and spotlighted by Apple Podcast.

Their book, “Black Fat Femme: Revealing the Power of Visibly Queer Voices in Media and How to Love Yourself” is out now via Wiley publishing and has garnered rave reviews from publications like Out Magazine, the Advocate, Queerty, Native Son and more. 

Dr. Higgins holds a doctorate in educational justice from University of Redlands and regularly writes and lectures on what liberation means for Black, queer, fat, non-binary people.

I have returned to my Adult Coloring fun time!! I started in the pandemic and recently decided to spend some quality time each week with my coloring pencils, pens, and crayons. I heartily recommend it for all!! And yes, this coloring book is hysterical……..

Please support Queer Cinema and help me celebrate the 38th Year of Atlanta’s Queer Film Festival. Follow the link above for schedule and tickets!!

Public health is not a partisan issue—it is survival. I believe in science, research, and fact-based decisions. I believe in listening to medical doctors and researchers who dedicate their lives to protecting us. And I worry deeply about what happens when those voices are drowned out by politics.

Right now, Secretary Robert Kennedy is systematically dismantling the CDC and issuing confusing, contradictory information that undermines trust in vaccines, research, and basic health guidance. When we replace clarity with chaos, people get sick. Families suffer. Communities lose their sense of safety. Talented, Committed, and Experienced professionals are being dismissed without cause or due process.

The CDC is far from perfect, but it has been a cornerstone of fact-based decision-making in this country for decades. It is the institution we turn to in moments of crisis—whether pandemics, outbreaks, or public health emergencies. If we allow its credibility to be eroded, we weaken one of our strongest defenses.

This isn’t abstract for me. I am the spouse of a pediatric emergency room doctor, and I see firsthand the toll misinformation and mistrust take on families. I’ve also been a lifelong supporter of research and facts. Vaccines, data, and clear public health guidance should not be political weapons. They are lifelines. Protecting the CDC isn’t about bureaucracy—it’s about protecting people.

I will be “back” next week. Newly married, newly energized, and ready to continue our conversations.

Be Well and Keep Smiling!

Jim