THE PRIVILEGE OF DIFFICULT CHOICES

The Choice We Are All Facing

For decades, we have been warriors. We fought for our lives during the AIDS crisis when our government turned its back on us. We fought for marriage equality and won. We fought for visibility in the workplace, in our families, and in the media. And now, with rising authoritarianism, attacks on LGBTQ+ rights, and the increasing radicalization of the Right, many of us are faced with a deeply personal and political decision: do we stay and fight, or do we flee?

In increasing numbers, affluent gay men—especially white men over 50—are looking to Golden Visa programs and expatriation as a way to escape the shifting political landscape in the United States. According to recent reports, searches for overseas relocation and second citizenship have spiked by over 200% since 2020. Countries like Portugal, Spain, and Mexico have become havens for those seeking safety, financial advantages, and a welcoming social environment. And while I understand the appeal—who doesn’t want to feel secure and valued?—I also have to ask: who will stay and fight for those who don’t have the means or the privilege to leave?

As white men, even within the LGBTQ+ community, we hold privilege. Many of us are financially independent, highly educated, and connected. We have access to wealth, legal resources, and influence that many younger LGBTQ+ individuals, people of color, trans people, and other vulnerable members of our community do not. If we leave, who will fight for them? Who will be their advocates?

We have a history of mobilizing. During the AIDS crisis, we didn’t retreat—we organized. We built networks, demanded action, and created the institutions that still support our community today. We refused to be erased. We did the same when we fought for marriage equality, workplace protections, and adoption rights. Our success came from refusing to back down in the face of oppression.

But now, with Project 2025 looming, with over 500 anti-LGBTQ+ bills introduced in state legislatures across the U.S. in the past two years, with book bans and anti-trans legislation on the rise, and with extremist politicians actively working to strip away our rights, many in our community are considering packing up and leaving. That is a luxury, and one that many cannot afford.

This is not just about politics. It’s about legacy. What do we want to be remembered for? Will we be the generation that fought for equality and then left when things got hard? Or will we be the generation that stood its ground and used its power to push back against the tide of hate?

We have midterms in 2026. We have a House of Representatives that we can take back. We have local elections that will decide whether our school boards, city councils, and state legislatures reflect our values or the values of those who wish to erase us. Voting is just the beginning. We need to be funding progressive candidates, organizing in our communities, and using our platforms to raise awareness.

Here’s what we can do right now:

• Donate to organizations fighting back, like the ACLU, the Human Rights Campaign, and Lambda Legal. I am personally donating to the Victory Campaign Fund to help elect LGBTQ+ leaders who can effect real change.

• Volunteer for progressive candidates and voter registration initiatives. I am working to re-elect Senator Jon Ossoff here in Georgia.

• Speak up by writing to representatives, sharing resources, and engaging with our communities. I have chosen to stay and use my voice and platform to resist, educate, advocate, and protect.

• Support LGBTQ+ youth who are on the front lines of these attacks, whether through mentorship, funding scholarships, or providing safe spaces. I will soon begin working on the Feasibility Task Force to present a proposal for an LGBTQ+ Culture and History Center in Atlanta.

• Strengthen philanthropic efforts for our community. As Chair of the Queer Philanthropy Circle at Indiana University Foundation, I am committed to ensuring that LGBTQ+ causes receive the financial support they need to thrive.

To those considering leaving, I ask: what happens to the LGBTQ+ youth in Tennessee, in Texas, in Florida? What happens to the drag queens, the trans kids, the working-class gay couples who don’t have the option to flee? If we don’t stand up for them, who will?

Yes, self-preservation is important. But so is solidarity. So is fighting for a future where none of us have to flee.

The choice is ours: fight or flight?

I am staying. Will you join me?

Love, Jim